Published on September 25th, 2012 | by Staggered1
25 Booze Free Stag Do Ideas
Why go to all the trouble of having a stag do if you’re only going to remember having your head in the toilet half the night? Ask yourself: is a massive hangover really the mark of a good night? Is the suffering worth it? The 15% of people who choose a teetotal lifestyle clearly don’t think so.
We’re always surprised by the number of grooms we meet who ask us whether it’s ok if they just do something active for their stag – clearly, sobriety is the new cool (and by the way, yes, it’s totally fine – it’s your stag do, do as you will). In actual fact, nearly all of the classic stag do activities require you to be totally sober to take part, so not only is it acceptable – it’s de rigeur.
Organising a tee-total stag do
The prime consideration is confronting the expectation that you’ll be drunker than the proverbial Lords. It’s imperative that you let people – both suppliers and your stags know in advance that you won’t be drinking. If for no other reason than it means the race track can swap the cheapo cava prize for a classy bottle of Orangina.
It’s entirely your call whether you impose a blanket ban on the other stags boozing. This depends mostly on what your chosen activity is. For instance, if you’re heading to Dubai for the weekend, you won’t feel out of place. If it’s the groom who is choosing to opt for a sober life, even if he’s ok with other people drinking, it’s altogether the classiest option to make it booze free. This is to spare him the thin humour of having pissed up blokes hugging him all evening.
The key here is not to sell this as a punishment. You’ll probably be surprised how many of the lads are actually relieved that it’ll be teetotal. And for those who can’t put their annoyance aside, you might want to remind them that they’re celebrating for the groom, in the way that he wants; what does it say if they can’t put the tinnies down for the sake of their mate?
So if you want memories you can remember and to avoid the odour of sick here are 25 booze free stag do ideas and some pointers on creating the booze-free bash of your dreams.
1) Paintballing – Nothing better than shooting your closest friends, especially if you manage to score that complete fluke shot where you get a paintball to land directly on one of their testicles. Nothing says male bonding more than one of your best friends writhing around in the dirt, ball-yanked tears running down their face. Great times.
2) Lasertag – If you don’t want to cause any pain and/or are a bit of a cyberpunk, shooting lasers at each other is the stag do idea from the future (the 80s future).
3) Xbox/LAN party – If shooting lasers is still a bit too real for you, try shooting each other virtually, with loads of team games to get all the lads involved, with games such as Battlefield 3 or Team Fortress 2. If shooting isn’t your thing, a FIFA tournament might be more fun. The advantage here is that those who want to drink can knock themselves out and when they’re woozy you can steal in and knife them all in the back. Lol!
4) Shooting – If you don’t like the idea of shooting things that resemble people at all, then why not try shooting birds or even clay birds? Get the boys all tweeded up and go grouse shooting. Or if shooting anything living isn’t your cup of tea, clay pigeon shooting is still a good laugh.
5) Quad Biking – A more adrenaline packed outdoor experience. Race around the countryside by renting out quad bikes and see who can reach the top of a mountain first.
6) Camping – If you want a more relaxed outdoor experience. Light a bonfire and cook something manly over it, like rabbit or…marshmallows. There are quite a few outdoor survival courses for stags these days, go totally Mears and drink your own urine.
7) Poker night – If you prefer the comforts of home, then why not have a poker tournament? Winner-takes-all Texas Hold-Em with some snacks, either at home or rent a private table.
8) Movie night – Nothing is manlier than a Die Hard Marathon. Stock up the fridge for the long haul, there are hundreds of trilogies for you to pick from.
9) Go Karting. If you want an adrenaline rush, high speeds and an indoor experience, Go Karting is the place to be. Rekindle your old rivalries with your mates and race to see who is the next Lewis Hamilton
10) Go to a game – Stand in the terraces shouting at professional sportsmen, or if you’re feeling extravagant, rent a suite. Make a special request for alternatives to alcohol to be provided and enjoy the match.
11) All you can eat buffet – Treat yourself to a few hours of gluttony, take your mates to an all you can eat buffet, and sample all the dishes of your favourite cuisine. Bonus points if you are asked to leave because you ate to much. Don’t forget the classic buffet gag of asking for a doggie bag to take it all away in.
12) Go to the races – Indulge in something other than alcohol by having a flutter. Get all dressed up and take some cash to gamble away, but don’t get carried away and end up owing them the nice shirt off you your back.
13) Go abroad – Weekend getaways need not be booze cruises or a yobbish invasion of a beautiful city. Say no to the pubs and bars in Dublin and Prague and imbibe the culture instead. Head for staunchly religious countries and you’ll find that your teetotal ways are nothing surprising.
14) Go to a gig – See your favourite band live with your friends. Walking out of a packed stadium unable to hear is surely better than rolling out of bed unable to do anything the morning after, isn’t it?
15) Rock Climbing – Prove how manly you are by pulling yourself to the top of a climbing wall before anything else. Get some friendly competition going and see who can abseil back down the fastest.
16) Surfing Lesson – Head down to the beach for some lessons in falling over in the sea. Laugh as your groomsmen get knocked over by a tiny wave and when your best man can’t get out of his wetsuit.
17) Golf day – Why bother with pub golf when you could play real golf. Get out into the sunshine and whack a ball around, and make your best man your caddy.
18) Rent a yacht – Chill out in style by renting a yacht. Swap beer goggles for sea sickness and maybe even throw out a few fishing lines to enjoy the maritime life.
19) Experience Days – You can go hot air ballooning, drive your favourite sports cars or go white water rafting. There are packages for everyone.
20) Go to an activity centre – Embrace your inner child and run about like madmen in places like Go Ape. It will unleash your masculine Tarzan tendencies and make you look a right prat, the perfect day out with mates.
21) Theme Parks – Like activity centres, but with more steel, power and sheer adrenaline. Persuade wimpy friends onto the scariest rides and force thrill seekers onto the Teacup ride. There are laughs to be had everywhere and we’ve already covered the best theme park stag dos.
22) Survival Course – Get trained to survive in the wilderness and see who the real man of the group is. Then expect the inevitable jokes from the Best Man about training to survive marriage.
23) Cigar Tasting – Indulge in another, altogether classier vice by arranging a cigar tasting. Book a nice big room with leather wingbacks, a fireplace and a good selection of books, and try the finest tobacco from around the world.
24) Life Drawing – If you don’t want to force one of the lads to model (let’s face it: who would?) gather around to see who can draw or paint a stranger. Then explain to your wife-to-be that it wasn’t an excuse to get round her ban on strippers.
25) Football – Have a kickabout with all your mates. Whether a big 11 a side match of a five a side tournament, get the wives and girlfriends to bring orange quarters and bottles of Lucozade, and to provide much needed support at Manchesthair United vs. Bloke City FC.
We’d love to hear your thoughts – any ideas about what would make a good sober stag activity? Have you organised a booze-free stag do before, if so what should other men learn from your experience?