Published on October 22nd, 2009 | by Staggered1
Blog – How Nervous Is Normal?
I’ve been getting quite a lot of nerves about my upcoming marriage (16 weeks to go) and I just wanted an idea of whether this is just natural nerves about things, or if I’m actually worried about something. I guess I’m asking – what level of pre-wedding nerves is reasonable?
While feeling a little pre-wedding anxiety is normal, it’s important to know the difference between a burning gut and butterflies. Before you go running down the street or walking down the aisle, take a moment to sit back and think about what’s causing you anxiety. Is it the ceremony, the guy, or the idea of marriage in general?
If you and your guy are on-again, off-again or you truly feel you’re not right for one another, it might be time to reconsider, but if you’re madly in love and just feeling a bit nervous, it’s likely the change that comes with marriage is what’s giving you a matrimonial freak-out. Here are a few tips on how to calm those nerves and enjoy what should be one of the happiest days of your life together.
Don’t Judge The Jitters: Before you allow your nerves to create a snowball effect, commend yourself for realise that marriage is a huge step that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Write it out: You can’t deal with an issue if you don’t know what it is. Sit down in a quiet space with a pen and paper and play a little word association game. Write down the words, “Marriage”, “Single” and the name of your man and then write whatever words come to your mind when looking at them. Your “higher self” will share some insight you can work with.
Talk it out: It’s quite likely your guy is feeling a zip through his nervous system as well, so bring it up in a way that allows the both of you to share your feelings and stand together on a common ground. Not sure how to bring it up without hurting his feelings? Lightly mention, “I am so excited to be marrying you but also a little nervous about taking such a big step, are you feeling this, too?”
Don’t Freak Out over Forever: Let’s face it, “Til death do us part” is a pretty intense statement and the act of getting married will change your life, but not as much as you think it will. The fact is, you already know one another, you’re already in love and you’ve already made a commitment to one another. Yes, it’s a vow that’s meant to last “forever” but the best you can do is to do your best day-by-day.
Talk to a Third Party: Seek out the advice of a qualified counsellor, a trusted clergyman or a relative/friend you respect and listen to what they have to say. Just remember that you have the right to veto any and all advice and you owe it to yourself, and your partner, to follow your heart.
Brenda Della Casa