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Published on July 28th, 2011 | by Staggered

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I Am In A World of Pain

I never really believed it.

Sickened by pithy images of  Jennifer Lopez working as a wedding planner, I was adamant that we could organize the event alone all the while running a hotel, travel agency and working as a journalist.

We were wrong.

But I am already pissed at the guy with his mock drama at how little we have achieved and how much there is to do. Listen, at this point in time I need positivity, we need support and someone to coddle us through.

Just 13 full days from our wedding we have relented and have a Cartagena-based wedding planner in tow in order to usher through the final details. How stupid of me to think that this would free me from decisions such as the final word on the colour of table cloths and serviettes (not napkins, this is, a wedding after all), style of chairs, whether they come with a bow on them or not and so on.

So, in desperation I turned to friends who had been through it all. A long email was sent out asking for advice on how to survive this period, the final run in to the wedding?

Replies came in various forms:

From New Zealand, a step by step process of feigned interest.

1. A contemplative nod of the head with a short “hmmm”.

2. An idea of your own, such as “or we could go with this type of centrepiece”.

3. Then a slightly longer “hmmmmmm”

4. Followed swiftly by you agreeing with her original suggestion…

5. And finally some added confirmation “yes, that’s perfect”.

Idea in that you can’t be blamed for not helping out or considering things; and you can’t be blamed for anything that goes wrong. Genius.

And then from the UK.

“Dude ….just remember. World of pain = looking and picking.”

and he went on to add:

“I eventually fell into a cocoon of trying to keep my answers interested and decisive at the same time but in the end agreed on all the extra frivolities as a wedding is really ‘the girls day’ and one that they have dreamed of since they were young (these strange creatures…I blame Cinderella and her frickin mice) – best keep em happy!”

So, I have adopted a middle ground on this. I am sort of just floating through it all, making daily trips to the bank, calls here and there but surviving in a parallel universe to the stress of it all. I can see everything from above, and yet, I am no longer drawn into the turmoil, this zen-like state is how I have chosen to conquer my worries…and so far, in a disconnected fashion, it is working.

[EDITOR'S NOTE -- we're interactively writing Richard's wedding speech so get on the thread and help us tell him what to say!]

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About the Author

Staggered is the world’s leading publisher for grooms, best men and fathers of the bride. Across websites, emails and magazines we help over 73,000 men every month.



2 Responses to I Am In A World of Pain

  1. Buddy, I feel the pain!

    Sharon and I have actually got to the point now where we are having to schedule in more cleaning because we’ve been do blimmin busy.

    Although to be fair I think we’ve been very lucky. Give me another 2 weeks and I may be singing a different tune!

  2. Pingback: Articles online in 2011 | Richard McColl's Blog

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